1.Siripala : I divorced my wife on the 1st night.
Siripala : I saw the label on her pant, "Tested OK by Gunapala & Sons."
2. Siripala : Yaa…… my wife is very scared of water.
Friend: How did you know?
Siripala : Twice when I got home I saw her having a bath with the security guard
3.The Nurse was taking a blood sample from Siripala. She held his finger and squeezed for blood. So Siripala laughed.
Nurse: Why did you laugh?
Siripala : after this, it is the urine test.
4. Siripala & wife having dinner together.
Wife : Darling, tell me something that would make me both happy & sad.
Siripala : Ur nipples r better than ur sister's!
5. On the first night of the marriage the Siripala gives the wife Rs.5000 and says, " I have never done this for free"
Wife returns rs.2000 and says, "I have not charged more than this before"
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?
Got from the net. C U.......... We'll meet again.
2358hrs on 28th February 2016